I was born in a tree house,
Descended from Neanderthals,
As manner less as primates,
And as smelly as ancient
overalls.
So, pronto, I ran!
I left as soon as I could!
My family might’ve missed me,
But I was as sad as a block of
wood.
But right then I learned,
As quick as a wink,
Time goes fast,
So don’t stop to blink.
To teach me this lesson,
I danced through a vortex,
And met the wisest doctor,
Who promised me an hourglass.
So off I went,
Tiptoeing through time,
Meeting good friends,
And growing sublime.
For years I observed,
Dressed like a man,
Until the time came,
When the age of corsets began.
How I reveled and shouted!
The streets of Sydney,
The canals of Venice,
I reigned everywhere!
So when finally I had grown,
And had turned out divine,
I trained a few velociraptors,
And took them through time!
But they got loose in London,
Era eighteen- ninety two,
So I had to turn in my traveling
badge,
Which I was sorry to do.
But then I found my raptors,
And rode off in search of a man.
I first went to Ireland,
And then found myself with men,
yet no tan.
And so I travelled around,
Uncontent being so white,
But everywhere I went,
The men weren’t as nice.
So back I went,
And now I am happy,
Arms full of ginger haired babies,
And love for a ginger haired
lackey.
