'Bloody hell! Sodding, blimey, shagging, knickers, bollocks. Oh God! I'm English!'
---
I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends.
--
Watson: Have a humbug, Lestrade.
Holmes: Watson! This is no time for humbugs.
Lestrade: *sadface*

--
Me : You can't make an omelette without breaking some eggs. 

Jon : If you made an omelette, I'd expect to find a pile of broken crockery, a cooker in flames, and an unconscious chef... and you with egg on your face.